


The Magic Comes but Doesn’t Go

by daintylemonsquare



Series: Multi-fandom Night Circus Crossover [1]
Category: Merlin (TV), The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Fluff, M/M, Mild Smut, very mild smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5712496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daintylemonsquare/pseuds/daintylemonsquare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur visits Le Cirque des Rêves and stumbles upon the tent of the circus illusionist, Merlin. After the initial meeting, they somehow found themselves twined together tightly. Unfortunately, the circus traveled frequently, sometimes to different continents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I want to say that YES this is a fic I posted in FF.net years ago. YES, this is mine, I have the original word document to prove it. So please, refrain from accusing me of stealing from myself. Now that's out of the way, WELCOME. I've decided to repost and rewrite this fic here because I wanted to put all three of my Night Circus AU's into one universe ever since I had a Night Circus!Solangelo plot bunny bounce into my life. That's right! I'm posting the Puckleberry one right after this and they'll all be tied together. Don't worry, you don't have to read everything! Just read what you enjoy.   
> If you've read this fic before, I want to say HELLO FRIEND! Welcome back! I actually rewrote a good 70% of this thing so better read it. I hope you enjoy!

_London, May 2000_

The circus came without warning. No announcements. No tell-tale arrival. Once there was a large expanse of grass then there it was as if it was there the whole time. Some people around town came to see it that morning and by afternoon everyone had heard of it. From its black and white tents, to the clock right up front with its dizzying gears and tiny juggler signifying the hours, to the sign that said _Opens at Nightfall, Closes at Dawn_ , to the sign that threatened exsanguination if caught trespassing, the circus wasn’t something that usually came by to their lives, at least, not for a long time now. Adults mentioned it with renewed glee that their children hadn’t seen before or had long since forgotten. The circus hadn’t been all too active in a few years after yet another tour around the world. Understandably so. No one knew how that whole circus hefted itself from one place to another without signaling people to its arrival.

Like many circuses before them, people started to think that they’d figured it was time to retire. It was disappointing, especially to those who have devoted their life to following its magic. Two years was a long time. The span of absences were discouragingly often. Then, it was as if no time had passed.

It was a long wait, to those who found the circus that morning, and the children who so _longed_ for the gates to open so they could have a late night. The most impatient, antsy ones were those who followed the circus around. _Rêveurs_ as they called themselves. Anyone could pick them out of the crowd, wearing black, white, or grey, with a splash of bright red, and buzzing with anticipatory speculation of how the circus had changed over the years. Most of them were older, some were brought in their wheelchairs, but their eyes sparked and shone, aging down decades, once they finally saw the clock from the distance.

A heavy blanket of silence fell as everyone watched the sun set. The gates opened like it did every time it opened for the first time in an area. With the lights flickering on to the sound of a kettle ready to boil, everyone’s desire to enter reached the same boiling point. They watched with jittery anticipation as the lights began shining right in front of them, giving the circus the life they all knew it would have. The lights up front formed the sign. The light bulbs crackled and sizzled as they came alive, forming bits and pieces of cursive letters until finally, in a shower of sparks and some puffs of smoke, it was complete.

 _Le Cirque des Rêves_ – The Circus of Dreams.

There was applause. There was whistling. There was squealing. Most from adults who didn’t seem to be capable of any of those. The gates shuddered and unlocked, seemingly on their own, letting the crowd in. They needn’t have to be told twice.

The circus stayed for a while. When asked, the _rêveurs_ had no reply as to when and where the circus would be back. They didn’t know when it would leave either though they did estimate that in two weeks’ time the circus would disappear. No one took the circus for granted and everyone tried to visit as many tents as possible.

It was his first time being alone at the circus. None of his friends, not even Morgan or Lance, had the time to visit the circus with him! What losers! But he didn’t mind, _they_ were missing out on all the fun. _They’r_ _e the ones who would eventually regret not going to the circus more_ , Arthur thought and felt rather pleased of himself. He had just gotten out The Cloud Maze, a marvelous tent where people climbed up at clouds, finding a way up and finding a way down. There was never a clear path either way, providing people a fun game for their minds as well as their bodies. People did have the choice of jumping off the top but that was for the bold. The clouds reached impossibly high places. Arthur considered himself one of those people. It was perfectly safe and sometimes he and the others would see who did the best jump. Arthur liked to do backflips.

After all, what’s a nineteen-year-old got to do when given a chance to do something as reckless as jumping off a height and not get injured?

As he was walking around, he spied a tent he hadn’t seem to have noticed before. He squinted at the sign that was adorned with black and white, as usual, and fancy calligraphy that read: _Feats of Magical Means_. The _rêveurs_ around him muttered their excitement. Saying things like “I haven’t seen this one before” and “it’s been a while since they had one” and “I heard the ghost of the very first illusionist still appears around the circus, mostly in the Ice Garden”. All of these conversations fueled the flames of Arthur’s curiosity, though he knew it was just sleight of hand and mirrors and all that sort. If _they_ were super excited about it, why shouldn’t he?

He followed the patrons inside to the small, circular tent. There were black iron sconces lighting the area and only twenty wooden chairs surrounding the empty center. He took the seat up the front and the place quickly filled up. There was silence. Everyone waited and waited. The _rêveurs_ smiled, knowing something would come up even if it took a little bit of time. They turned to the door, each of them, and their smiles grew prominent. Arthur followed their gaze and noticed that seam that served as the entrance wasn’t there anymore.

He thought this odd but then something else demanded his attention – a bird. A tiny, bright blue bird flitting around the tent, filling it with musical chirps. Everyone eyed it curiously. Slowly, the bird grew bigger and wider, flying near the ground, causing dust to float into the air. Its flaps grew louder as more dust flew into the air. Finally, with a loud chirp, it flew to the ceiling of the tent and burst into a thousand feathers as the tent’s dark fabric rippled.

The dust and the feathers floated in mid-air, pausing long enough for everyone to notice that nothing was moving. Then they came together to the center, the dust and feathers formed a shape, a body.

Arthur could tell it was a man, a skinny one, and once the body was formed, it moved. The feathers and dust drifted to the floor to reveal the illusionist who was probably no older than Arthur. His suit was exquisitely black, iridescent enough to catch the eye but not distract. He wore white gloves adorned with silver so he shined in the dim light. He picked up a feather that was completely covered with dust. The boy brushed it off with a gloved hand and flicked it, turning it into a sleek, white bowler hat. He was immediately met with astounded applause. He bowed. Then, as he leaned up and opened his eyes, Arthur nearly stopped breathing. His eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. Those eyes caught Arthur’s for a second longer than the others. And for the first time in a long time, Arthur was completely and utterly speechless.

The illusionist smiled.

Suddenly there was a draft around Arthur and the illusionist’s smile widened. His arm moved and he was holding something, a jacket – _Arthur’s_ jacket. He looked down and his arms were bare. He looked up at the illusionist just as the boy turned around in a full circle, showing the audience the jacket. Arthur crossed his arms, fighting the slight chill, watching intently. He didn’t know how that happened but he intended to see what the illusionist was going to do next.

The boy held the jacket up and with a snap of his fingers, it caught fire. People gasped and a few even screamed. The boy whirled the flaming jacket in his hand over his head and after the third rotation, the flames burst into doves. Jaws dropped. Eyes widened. Stunned applause.

The doves flew down to Arthur, covering him. They cooed nonstop and they wouldn’t go away even if he flailed his arms around. The audience laughed, and so did the illusionist. Arthur glared playfully, knowing this was all part of a trick and the illusionist winked at him. Arthur was going to have to demand the boy another jacket to brave the cold spring night. The performers and staff never talk, except for the fortune teller, so either Arthur was going to be lucky enough to get to talk to him or he’d walk home shivering.

The rest of the performances went on without a hitch _or_ any way to know _how_ the illusionist was doing it. And Arthur spent it with doves on his body. It was spectacular, the things the illusionist did. It was trick after trick after trick. He used no props from backstage, only what the people already had. Scarves, watches, rings, chairs – all of them not needing any assistance. There was hardly any time to blink before he jumped into his next piece. It was only when the doves disappeared in a puff of feathers that Arthur got his jacket back. He tried not to be disappointed that he wouldn’t have an excuse to talk to him.

This was the illusionist’s second to the last trick.

He took off his hat and leaned down for a bow, accepting the standing ovation in silence. He turned around the stage, bowing to everyone before he turned to dust and feathers when he reached the end of his circle and fell into a pile. The entrance revealed itself and everyone started to file out. Everyone except Arthur. He leaned on the railing, looking at the stage. _How did he do it?_ He wondered to himself.

“You know,” Arthur jumped at the sudden voice behind him, “people usually _leave_ when the performance is over.” There he was, standing with his blazer, hat, and gloves off, looking more like a regular boy he’d see around university than a breathtaking circus performer. He smiled and Arthur smiled back.

“I –” Arthur couldn’t find the right words to use. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude or anything.” He stammered.

The boy just laughed and shook his head. He walked toward Arthur, smiling bashfully as his adorable cheeks grew red. He stuck his hand out. “Hello, I’m Merlin.”

Arthur laughed. “You’re joking!”

Merlin shrugged as they shook hands, not entirely ignoring the shiver that rattled down his spine when their skin touched each other’s. “Sadly, I am not. My parents were probably psychic or they misspelled ‘Marlin’.” Arthur laughed again and what a handsome laugh it was.

“I’m Arthur.” He said, still grinning, still holding Merlin’s hand.

Merlin’s eyebrows rose. “Like King Arthur? This might actually be destiny.” Arthur tried to keep his smile casual even though it was aching to go absolutely wide and moronic.

They looked down at their clasped hands and immediately separated, averting their eyes from one another. But they were smiling, goofily. It wasn’t every day they meet an attractive man who seemed to already reciprocate.

“Are you staying long? I’m done for a while.” Merlin blurted. He didn’t want him to go just yet. He hoped that he would be.

Arthur nodded, reinforcing Merlin’s hopes. “It’s not like there’s school tomorrow, right? Or later. You know what I mean.”

Merlin chuckled. “Right… I’ll go change and I’ll meet you up front by the bonfire, yeah?”

“Yeah.” They smiled at each other again, both noting the pronounced eagerness that was bouncing between them. Merlin jumped over the railing and walked briskly to the concealed entrance. Arthur, still smiling, walked out of the tent and toward the bonfire that burned white instead of the usual color of red and orange. He went to get some cinnamon twists – layers of pastry, cinnamon, and sugar rolled in a twist and covered in icing – while he waited for Merlin by the bonfire. All around, people just stared at it, wondering how it was doing that, being white, going with the colors of the circus. He supposed Merlin would know but he wasn’t sure he’d get a straight answer.

“Hello again.” Merlin called from a short distance, wearing something else now, some jeans, sneakers, a blue long sleeved shirt, and a red scarf. No one seemed to notice him or knew who he was. “I hope I didn’t leave you waiting for too long.”

“Nah, it’s fine, really. Are you sure you’re allowed to be walking around and communicating with the audience?” Arthur replied, smirking.

“We’re allowed. We do it from time to time. Being in color throws everyone off.” Merlin explained.

“Cinnamon twist?”

Merlin moaned with delight. “I love these things, thanks!” He put his hand into the bag and took one of the last pastries. He took a big bite and he closed his eyes, enjoying it thoroughly. “You know,” he said with a full mouth, which was really endearing to Arthur, “I should really get to asking how these are made so I won’t have to wait until the circus opens or for work to be over to get them.”

“Couldn’t you just wring it out of thin air or something?” Arthur asked in a challenging tone. Merlin just shook his head.

“You think too highly of me.” They shared a laugh, giving a sense of easy camaraderie that made Merlin’s heart flutter and Arthur go warm.

“Do you know how to cook at least?” Arthur prompted.

“How hard can it be?” Merlin’s cheeks were starting to hurt from how hard and how much he was smiling. “C’mon, let’s go visit some tents. Have you been to the Cloud Maze?”

“Of course,” Arthur answered. “It’s one of my favorite tents.”

“We’re not going there then.” Merlin said, mouth full again, dusting his fingers of any stray pastry granules. He grabbed Arthur’s wrist and led them away to another direction.

“Why not?” Arthur asked.

“Well, you’ve been there enough times to think it your favorite. Let’s go somewhere you haven’t been yet!” Merlin replied, craning his neck over the crowds, looking for the perfect tent. “Been to the tent with the paper animals? It’s really quite interesting.” Merlin turned his head to Arthur and he could already sense the “no” before Arthur even opened his mouth. “Say no more, we are going there!” The situation seemed strange, Arthur being dragged around by someone he _barely_ knew, and a circus performer at that. It was the good kind of strange. It was the kind of strange he remembered having when he was younger and everyone was a friend. Everyone came to play then they were gone, never to meet again. He hoped that Merlin wouldn’t be one of those people.

He didn’t want that at all.

Arthur was surprised by the amount of tents and features the circus had even if he’d been visiting for a good chunk of a week. “That’s okay,” Merlin said, “most of these people have been following the circus for ages now and they’re still finding new things…” Merlin then got this manic look and said, “Speaking of new things...” Then Arthur got dragged to another tent.

Merlin showed him all the different places that were always more exciting than the next and, the entire night, Arthur had done nothing but revel in it. They didn’t even notice how they didn’t let go of each other anymore after the fifth tent Merlin brought him to. So far, his favorite was the Labyrinth. A staggering tent that was _way_ too big on the inside than it was on the outside with its numerous chambers, hallways, and doors, all of which were mismatched and always brought them someplace else. Merlin adeptly toured him around the so-called tent and Arthur found that as an excuse to hold his hand though he would _then_ proceed to defend that he just didn’t want to get lost when Merlin would tease him about it.

The Labyrinth was Merlin’s favorite as well. There was a room made entirely of books and smelled of fresh ink on paper. Arthur never did see the appeal of books before Merlin walked around touching the spines and smiling to himself. Arthur caught himself staring and looked away before the beautiful boy turned to face him again. “What time do you need to go home?”

Arthur’s eyes grew in size, making Merlin laugh. “You, my friend, are monumentally in trouble, I gather.”

Arthur scoffed. “No, I’m not. I can sneak in…” But somehow, he seemed unsure; he didn’t even bring a watch so he didn’t know how much time had passed since Merlin’s performance. “Besides, my dad always sleeps at the other side of the house. He won’t notice.”

Merlin just laughed and grabbed Arthur’s hand; it was second nature now. “C’mon, I know a short cut.” That short cut turned out to be a long one. Arthur accused Merlin of wanting him around longer and that he couldn’t bear to let him leave. It wasn’t entirely false but Merlin shot him down anyway. However, Arthur wouldn’t let it die down. Even as they walked out of the tent through a door from a temple guarded by an albino sphinx, they were still bickering.

Merlin led them outside and they both looked at the clock. _Two-Fifty._ Arthur hissed, sorely wishing that there wasn’t anyone waiting for him. Merlin laughed at his expense. “At least you had fun.” Arthur wouldn’t – couldn’t – disagree. “And just in time for my next performance.”

Arthur turned to him, incredulous. “I thought you were done with your performances tonight?”

“I’m quite sure I said _for a while_.” Merlin grinned. “And I didn’t want to tell you I had until _three-thirty_. Where’s the surprise in that? The urgency would spoil all the joy.”

Arthur nodded and shoved his hands down his pockets. “I had a nice night.”

Merlin blushed and looked down at his sneakers bashfully. “Me too.” When he looked back up, he snapped his fingers and a rose appeared in his hand. He offered it to Arthur. “Thank you.”

Arthur laughed to mask how flustered he felt. No one ever gave him flowers. “I’m not really a rose type of guy.” Merlin bit his lips into a tight smile, hiding his laughter, and turned the rose in his fingers. When it came up again, it was a lily. “Impressive.” Arthur said. “Not really a lily guy either.” Merlin rolled his eyes and twisted the flower in his hands again. “Now we’re talking.” Arthur picked the pure white gardenia from Merlin’s hands.

“You’re a very demanding guy.” Merlin said. “If I didn’t like you, I’d say you’re a prat.”

“So you like me?” Arthur leaned closer like he was going to tell Merlin a secret. The sudden closeness made Merlin blush brighter but thankfully it wasn’t as pronounced from where they stood a few feet away from the circus lights.

“Prat.” Merlin countered without much force, distracted by how strikingly handsome Arthur was. “Will I regret this in the future?”

Arthur reached for Merlin’s hand for one more lingering touch. They both glanced at where Arthur’s fingers were curled into Merlin’s. “I hope not.”

They teetered silently, not wanting to go just yet but they were outside and Arthur was going to get in more trouble if he didn’t leave now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Arthur said.

Merlin rolled his eyes playfully. “How presumptuous of you, _your majesty_. For all you know, I’m booked the whole night. Unlike you, I’ve got a job.” Arthur laughed and flipped him off as Merlin backed away.

“We’ll see, Arthur.” Merlin replied, his face softening with great fondness. Then, after a quick wave, he turned around and disappeared back into the circus. Arthur allowed himself a sniff of the gardenia and it smelled incredibly fresh and real. _That circus is amazing._ He thought as he walked away leisurely, keeping the night as his own for as long as he could.

* * *

Merlin tried his best to give their nights some variety, especially those nights when he had more performances than the first night they’d met. He’d show Arthur some secret passages leading to an adjacent tent. He’d get them free food. Once he showed Arthur the ghosts that lived around the circus. Arthur loved the next night a little more than the last. By Thursday morning, Merlin congratulated Arthur for having visited every available-to-the-public inch of the circus and he even fashioned the blond a little crown out of thin air and paraded him everywhere. Arthur was unable to take the crown off until he got out of the circus. Before he left, Merlin asked for a picture with him in the crown and it wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter.

Arthur’s copy of the picture sat in one of his draws, the one that had the least clutter.

Though he had university obligations, he hardly cared. Merlin was worth sleeping in class and getting into trouble. He kept the illusionist a secret; he didn’t want anyone else knowing about them. It wasn’t that Arthur was ashamed of Merlin, far from it. Arthur _was_ greedy. He didn’t want to _share_. He didn’t want anyone else to spoil that they had. Bringing his friends along would be bad. Theoretically, it would be a more enjoyable and rowdier time, and Arthur wanted to show off that he made a friend in the circus where no one spoke. He could also imagine the grotesque amount of teasing that would ensue the second his friends found out that he _finally_ had someone again. It wouldn’t be cute. He needed to keep it cute with Merlin so when he left – it would be any day now – they could still be… _something_.

That Friday night, Merlin went the night without so much as a bow to an audience. The entire night was theirs. They held hands openly, walking to their favorite spots and eating their favorite treats. They visited the Labyrinth, the Ice Garden, the Cloud Maze, the Bedtime Stories tent, rode the carousel whose animals flew around and probably breathed, and watched the elaborate, net-less trapeze act. It was one of the best nights ever. They ended it with a visit to the Stargazer, the tent that was only open when it was a clear night. They joined the line that curved up on a stairway circling the tent’s perimeter. The walls were covered with diagrams of white constellations.

“I’m so glad the Stargazer was open for three times while we’re here.” Merlin said to Arthur as they moved up and through the black curtains that separated the ride from the outside.

“For all I know, you’re the one making that so.” Arthur said.

“You overestimate me and I blame my namesake for that.” Merlin countered. “I’m not that powerful.”

“Is that a ‘yet’ I detect in your tone?” Arthur nudged an elbow into Merlin’s ribs.

“Stuff it.” He pushed him away lightly. “As I was saying, I like to go here, especially when I’m alone, though sometimes with friends.” Merlin glanced at him.

Arthur remembered the night Merlin introduced the Clarke siblings, children of the circus’ proprietor – they could easily pass as patrons as their fair hair weren’t subjected to dyeing; all shades of red to blond. They were all really pleasant. They didn’t stay long when Arthur was around, only casting knowing smiles at Merlin before they faded into the tent’s folds. They were a far cry from Arthur’s rambunctious friends, though Merlin insisted that behind the scenes they caused more trouble than Merlin was there to witness. Other friends were mentioned but they were always too busy with their performances. Although, Arthur hoped he was more than a friend. At this point, he should be.

“But I like it alone.” Merlin continued. “I love watching the stars – it’s my second favorite tent next to the Labyrinth.”

Arthur smiled and nodded, unable to take his eyes away from Merlin’s face. “Thanks for letting me keep you company tonight.” He said. Merlin bit on both of his lips to keep from smiling too much.

They reached a black platform with a circus worker in white leading the patrons through it all. Merlin nodded to the worker and he just smiled back. They were led to a carriage. Merlin and Arthur sat down on the cushioned seats and Arthur scooted closer, making Merlin grin madly. They leaned their backs on the high back of the carriage. The doors clicked shut and the ride started moving. There wasn’t much to see but black until another series of clicks began and the carriage tilted backward. They were gazing at the night sky which looked like someone threw glitter into a black velvet canvas. They saw nothing but the endless starlit sky, no clouds and no trees to block their view as they moved in a slow circle.

When the ride made its first semi-circle, Arthur felt an arm snake over his waist. He stiffened for a moment, surprised, then he complimented Merlin’s movements. Soon enough, Merlin’s head was tucked perfectly into Arthur’s neck and Arthur tried not to have a heart failure with all of the emotions that was being pumped through him.

Merlin was being uncharacteristically quiet. He gazed intently at the stars, his face illuminated very slightly by what little light they had to share. “You haven’t said anything the whole time we’ve been here.” Arthur whispered as he stroked Merlin’s smooth hair.

“Huh?” Merlin snuggled closer, his hold around Arthur tightening subtly. “I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry.” Arthur replied, touching Merlin’s cheek. Merlin sighed. “Is there something wrong?” Arthur began to worry. He didn’t expect to worry but there he was. Worrying. About what exactly? Everything. Maybe he was being too confident with whatever it was they had and Merlin was about to end it. That’d be a first for him. Usually he could get over anyone, even the straightest crush – he _was_ Arthur Pendragon after all – but he had a feeling he’d never find anyone whose company he’d want more than Merlin’s.

“Nothing, honestly.” Merlin started to say, noting Arthur’s tense body. “I’m just thinking of space and what stars are like up close and the circus and just watching the stars.”

Arthur eased up a little. He scolded himself for being silly. “Oh? And what about the –”

“And you, you idiot.” Merlin interrupted, kissing Arthur’s cheek.

All the time they had together, all the dark corners, and all the unknown passages in the whole circus, not once did they sneak a cheeky snog. Arthur wouldn’t think about it until he was walking back home, kicking himself for not finding a way and then promising he’d make a move the next day. Except he’d forget again.

This time he remembered.

Arthur turned his head immediately before Merlin could return to his original position. He could feel his breath touch his face and his nose brushing against Merlin’s.

After a few shaky, unsure breaths, Arthur leaned towards him, his blood practically singing as soon as Merlin mirrored the action. When their lips touched for the first time, Merlin gasped when his stomach crashed into his heart. Arthur left no empty space. Their bodies faced one another, Merlin’s leg sliding in between Arthur’s as Arthur put a hand on the nape of Merlin’s neck, pushing their lips closer. They kissed for a long time. The taste of hot cocoa, tea, and cinnamon twists mingled in their mouths, creating a whole different flavor. They would remember that taste. Neither would ever have a sip or a drink without feeling another’s ghostly lips on theirs. None would taste as sweet without those lips. They kissed hungrily as if making up for all those missed opportunities the whole week.

It was only when the ride stopped that they stopped. Arthur pressed his lips against Merlin’s quickly and Merlin replied with two kisses of his own. Everything Arthur worried about fell behind the din of the circus.

Meanwhile, Merlin wished he could suspend this moment in time, draw it out the way the circus drew out everyone’s lives but he couldn’t. Widget and Poppet hadn’t taught him that trick yet. Either that or there was no way to do it. He _could_ bring Arthur. But as far as he knew Arthur was as normal as they went in terms of circus-like abilities. Unless kissing counted. Arthur was an _extraordinary_ kisser.

They exited the tent totally different from when they came in. They walked around the circus one last time before Merlin called it a night (day) and asked Arthur to go home. Of course, they walked out together, hand in hand. It was a chilly night when they got out. They faced each other, still blushing. “I’ll see you tomorrow…?” It was their thing now and he knew what Merlin would say. But then, the boy surprised him with a tight hug, he hugged back. The wind blew at them and the tent behind them swayed and rippled slightly. Merlin pressed their lips together once more and he was met with an eager reply.

Merlin pulled away with a sad smile. “We can’t stay forever, Arthur. I hope you know that.”

“Yeah.” Arthur looked away. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“When dawn breaks, yes.” Merlin answered. “But I’ll…write.”

Arthur snorted. “Write? What is this? The nineteen-hundreds?”

Merlin chuckled but said nothing more as he made another gardenia appear. Arthur was about to pluck it out of Merlin’s hand but something else was happening. The flower slowly turned shinier and more solid. Merlin opened his palm to reveal a porcelain potted gardenia.

“I still don’t know how you do that.” Arthur said with awe as he took the item off of Merlin’s hand, cradling it carefully. They weren’t in Merlin’s tent so there was no way he had any help making this happen and he couldn’t have carried it around the whole night – not with the heavy touching that happened in the Stargazer. He knew that it would break if he threw it. He also knew Merlin would call him a wanker and put it together without a crack in sight. Arthur had entertained the idea of magic – real magic – though he found that preposterous and crazy. It was the only explanation that made sense. He never asked Merlin about it, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer or if he was even allowed to. He didn’t want to jeopardize anything with him.

“A good magician _never_ exposes his secrets.” Merlin winked.

“One day you will. You can’t resist me for so long.” Arthur laughed and Merlin smacked his arm.

“You’ll be able to open the pot.” Merlin said, tapping the hinge that blended seamlessly with the porcelain. “Leave your message there.” Further proof, Arthur noted, but decided not to bring up.

Arthur nodded. Merlin hugged him again. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.” He murmured then kissed Arthur’s cheek. “Now go before I smuggle you with me.” Arthur laughed. He was going to miss that laugh.

Later, while Arthur slumbered through the weekend morning with a dream that could never compare to anything _The Circus of Dreams_ had and as Merlin helped pack up, the porcelain gardenia’s pot started to get something engraved.

 _I’ll miss you, Arthur._  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur make it work with the circus in between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties renaming everyone. "Merlin" is fine because there's a high chance that Merlin's parents were a bit kooky. But not everyone's parents are. Also yes, Morgana is a friend here because SHE DESERVED BETTER.

_London, April 2003_

Their correspondence would happen as often as a letter every day for a week and as rarely as two letters every month when Arthur started to get busy with university work. Merlin wrote so much that Arthur felt like he was reading a fantasy novel. It would get so detailed that Merlin would ask Arthur to send back the letter to avoid exposure. Arthur argued that people already knew that they weren’t doing anything remotely _normal_ there but he obliged.

Part of the reason why Arthur didn’t write back as often was because of how mundane his day to day was. His life must’ve been comparatively boring. Merlin was fiction and he was an economics textbook. Sometimes he’d have a story to tell about a dumb thing Wayne and Percy did while drunk or some silly drama he was pulled into at some party. Then Merlin told him that they were traveling by train.

There were many things Arthur would believe but even the Hogwarts express had a _track_ built. The whole Earth did not have enough train tracks for _The_ _Circus of Dreams_ to go where it goes _by fucking train_.

The next week after that involved Arthur replying with “BULLSHIT” every time Merlin tried to convince him that they were _really_ travelling using a train.

“Here’s a picture!” Merlin wrote at the back of a picture of him standing with Widget Murray, co-owner of the circus, and one of his family’s big cats beside a glistening black train.

Arthur’s reply was a whole page of copy-pasted “BULLSHIT!” which cracked Merlin up every time he remembered it.

It was like Merlin never left, really. The engraving on the pot’s side also changes with every location so Arthur knew where Merlin was all the time. Their letters tethered Arthur to the magic of the circus and Merlin to the normalcy of other human beings.

Still, Arthur would miss having a Merlin that he could touch. When circumstance allowed it, Arthur would grab a plane or a train to wherever the circus was and stuck around for a couple of days. After the first year of this relationship, Merlin had given Arthur a special ticket that had _“This card entitles the holder to unlimited admission”_ written in silver against a sturdy material. Arthur flipped the card and, in the same black ink and writing, was the proprietor’s name as well as the circus’s name. The custom outfits Arthur gave Merlin paled in comparison in his opinion.

Arthur and Merlin tried their best not to use up all their time at the circus. They tried to enjoy dinner. They would consider watching a movie. Sometimes they would find a nice quiet place to just talk about their lives as if they haven’t been exchanging regular letters.

Unless Merlin brought Arthur behind the curtains, then they could waste all the time they want there.

Bailey, the aforementioned proprietor, wasn’t sure if he could allow it but his wife, Poppet, convinced him to leave the two be. They _were_ young once.

After one such night, Arthur decided that time went by faster when they were enjoying each other’s intimate company than when they were enjoying the circus. That was supposedly a good thing. He wasn’t sure on the matter. However, Merlin, who spent his days and nights at the circus, thought it was the most unfair thing in the universe.

During this stretch of time where Merlin and Arthur wrote letters and met each other at the circus, Arthur hadn’t introduced Merlin to his friends. Merlin brought this up, a little hurt. Arthur admitted that he was being selfish. This was the first time they’d come close to an actual fight and not the usual bickering they subjected the circus and papers to.

While Merlin understood where Arthur was coming from, Arthur’s friends were not as forgiving.

They would read Merlin’s letters aloud. Depending who was reading it, they’d either stop at the steamy parts or shout at the top of their lungs, telling Arthur’s whole building _exactly_ what Merlin did with his mouth. Even though they could follow the circus around by asking a few _rêveurs_ who were always eager to talk about the circus, they found that harassing Arthur about it was a lot more fun.

For the first year.

The following years were as exasperating to them as it was to Arthur. University got in the way. Distance got in the way. Arthur was the only one truly willing, and able, to pay the airfare to go to another country to visit the circus. And while Morgan was as able, she was married to the idea that the proper way of meeting Merlin would involve _Arthur_ willingly bringing them.

Arthur thought that punishing his friends by _not_ telling them he was going to the circus when it was a train away would stop them from reading the letters. That turned out to be the petty gasoline needed to needed to feed their vindictive fire. It wasn’t until one night after a stressful day of university life that Arthur broke.

“If you’re not going let us meet him, the torture will continue, my dear.” Gwen said as Arthur covered his bright red face while their friends laughed their heads off after finding the letters in their twelfth hiding place.

“You are all horrible and I never want to see any of your faces again!” Arthur roared, mostly meaning it. He knew he was being ridiculously stingy with his boyfriend. But after all this time, he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to share.

“Oh, stop being such a drama queen.” Morgan smirked, tossing her legs over his lap. “Him meeting us won’t be the most horrible thing in the world.”

Arthur sighed. “I know.”

Ely abruptly stopped announcing to the world how much Merlin missed him to ask, “So you’ll let us meet him then? After _three fucking years_?”

Technically it was four but Arthur didn’t want to make this disaster worse. “Will you stop this madness if you do?” Arthur raised an eyebrow.

The men glanced at each other, their smiles turning manic. “ _Hell yeah_!” They said

“Next time, I promise.” Arthur sagged into his couch while everyone cheered.

“Pinky promise.” Morgan waggled the offending finger right in front of Arthur’s nose and he indulged her.

“Ooh, double pinky promise.” Gwen joined in with a giggle.

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “Fuck off.”

Later that night, he immediately told Merlin about the whole scene, warning him about his rabid werefriends. He got a reply not five minutes after. Merlin’s shaky handwriting was difficult to decipher. Arthur was certain Merlin was curled over his desk with laughter. If he didn’t find the mental image cute, he would’ve ignored him for the rest of the night.

When asked where the circus was going to be next, Merlin said they were going to be in Brighton the day after tomorrow. Arthur reluctantly told his friends the location.

Arthur slumbered in his bed in his quiet flat covered with his college papers that needed to be done and dirty plates to clean as the engraving changed. But the message wouldn’t be heeded until after Arthur had his morning tea. He staggered back into his room, groaning at the amount of work he needed to do. When he sat down on his bed, taking a nice long sip of tea, he noticed the change when he glanced at the figurine. He placed the cup on his bedside table and picked the figurine up, holding it near his face. A sudden shiver of delight passed through him and a smile that spread so wide it almost hurt.

_I lied. We’re in London._

He didn’t need to be told twice. He showered and got dressed and ate a quick breakfast of cereal before exiting the building and ran to his car. It took him not more than five minutes to find the circus right on the outskirts of the city. The same place every time. He didn’t think he’d see the towering black and white tents this soon. He could hardly contain himself. People passed by, looking up at it with wonder. He beheld it for a number of minutes before driving away again, hoping to pass the day with homework and other things.

Arthur tried to study, but was too antsy. He tried to work out, but all that did was make him imagine a sweaty reunion behind closed doors. He tried to watch a show, but his focus wandered back to that closed gate just outside the city. He fiddled with the figurine, where he found the note in the small compartment.

 _Surprise!_ It said.

Arthur chuckled. “Bastard.” Then he replied with a note of his own.

_You have EXCITED them._

His friends were losing their minds.

“Gwen! Does this outfit say ‘I want you to like me but also if you hurt my best friend I will burn you at the stake’?”

“Traffic will be an issue. _Everyone_ will be driving.” Percy said with a map laid out on Arthur’s dining table.

Ely pointed at one line. “What if we take the tube? Make a few stops here, here, and here. Then we walk.”

“That’s what _everyone’s_ going to do.” Percy shook his head.

“What do you propose then? We fly?!”

“Walking’s a good option.” Percy retorted.

“There’s no _time_ to walk!” Ely flapped his arms, annoyed.

“I am _certain without a room for doubt_ that Merlin convinced the entire circus with those special magic powers of his to move their location from Brighton to London because he knew he was meeting his _beloved’s_ boyfriend’s best buds.” Wayne said, pinching Arthur’s cheek.

“Do you want to lose that hand?” Arthur growled.

“Ooh, Merlin loves it when you’re aggressive.” Wayne retorted.

Before Arthur could rip Wayne scalp off by the root of his hair, Lance removed Wayne’s hand. “Don’t antagonize him further. We’ve already had _years_ of that now, Wayne.” He said.

“But after this, we won’t get to pester him about his precious illusionist anymore.” Wayne griped.

“Your mere existence pesters me enough, thank you.” Arthur retorted.

“Your words!” Wayne stabs himself with both of his hands. “They _spear_ through my heart! I am dying!”

“Jesus Christ.” Arthur drags his hand down his face.

“Don’t take the lord’s name in vain, mate.” Wayne winked and Lance pushed him away before Arthur could explode.

Lance smiled as he handed Arthur a cup of chamomile that Gwen brewed just for him. Arthur accepted it. He _hated_ chamomile. “It’ll all be over soon, Arthur.” Lance said.

“It’s going to be replaced with a new sort of torture.” Arthur sneered into his cup.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Lance laughed, tapping the rims of their cups together. “Just stick it out. The sun’s about to set anyway.”

That was barely a comfort. The sun would not set any faster no matter how much Arthur willed it to.

They were there before sunset and long before the general public. A handful of _rêveurs_ were milling by the gate, gesticulating wildly in Italian. Some were more subdued though anyone nearby could feel how much they exuded excitement. The older crowd mixed with the younger. With the _rêveurs_ , no one was ever too young or too old. There was only experience, sharing it, discussing it, finding joy in it.

Technically, Arthur was one but he wasn’t talking to any of the others, just the one inside the circus, so he couldn’t be quite sure. However, he _was_ already wearing the color scheme. From top to bottom, it was black that stopped at his shoes, which were the color of delicious cheap wine. None would be the wiser. He blended right in.

Wayne looked around then at his clothes, perplexed. “Is there a uniform?”

“No, people devoted to the circus do this. The blacks and the whites help them blend in but the red sets them out from the rest.” Arthur explained, too busy imagining Merlin through the billowing stripped tents to be truly annoyed. “It’s been a thing for more than a hundred years.”

“Nerd.” Wayne sang.

“Shove it, fuckwit.” Morgan elbowed his stomach. Instead of red, she wore purple over her black since she didn’t think red suited all too well but also because she didn’t feel as devoted to the circus as Arthur or any of the others. She wrapped an arm around Arthur’s. Despite one of the instigators of the torture, she was still their number one cheerleader.

“Look at you, all tense and shaky with nerves.” She commented. “It’s cute.”

“I’m not _nervous_ , I’m _impatient_.” Arthur sputtered as they found a place by the entrance. The sun was very low and people were converging from everywhere.

“I second that.” Lance announced. “And I speak for everyone when I say I’m just _itching_ to meet Merlin.” Their friends cheered.

“To be honest, I’m more interested in his show.” Ely declared. “And the circus in general. I mean, I’ve heard loads about it but is it really magic?”

“Same here. There _has_ to be an explanation.” Percy added, crossing his arms, eyes narrowing at the tents.

Arthur smirked. “You’ll see.”

“Prepare to eat your words, boys.” Morgan affirmed. “This circus is still around after a hundred years for a reason.”

Ely sniffs the air. “Why, is that a bet I smell?”

“I need the extra money.” Morgan shrugged and Arthur snorted.

When the gates finally opened with the same grand flourish and the people started filing in, Arthur found himself at ease. The moment he showed his ticket and the man in the booth, Julian Clarke, smiled at him knowingly, he knew that everything was going to be fine tonight. He didn’t just trust Merlin or his friends. He trusted the circus itself for a good time.

The sight of the white bonfire rising above the curled, seemingly withering edges of its iron cauldron, even a few dozen times later, managed to instill a great wonder in anyone’s eyes. Slow moving statues face the entrance, hands aloft in greeting. The sweet smell of various pastries and drinks and other treats complemented the fresh spring air. Arthur took pride of everyone’s expressions of astonishment as if he owned the circus.

He did bring some money their way, much to his father’s disapproval. Not that it mattered. What he gave the circus was change compared to their overall wealth.

Arthur and Morgan stepped forward, facing their friends with smug looks. Lance rolled his eyes at the two of them. “Ready to pay up, boys?” Morgan chuckles.

“We’re not going down without a fight, right?” Ely asked Percy and Wayne, who nodded their assent.

“Where do you want to go first before Merlin’s show?” Arthur asked, a bit condescendingly.

The three of them, having been to the circus a few times, served as tour guides, bringing their group to their favorite tents. The Cloud Maze first, naturally. They spent an hour there, racing one another to the top, jumping from one cloud to the other the same way children half their age were doing.

Then to the Hall of Mirrors, Lance’s favorite for its unsettling take on the usual carnival gimmick. The mirrors weren’t ceiling to floor but of various sizes, adorned by beautiful frames. None of them showed what was in front of them quite right. Morgan would see her torso but not her boots. Wayne would see a different person pass by instead of his face. Though it felt like they were the only group in the tent, the mirrors said otherwise. Then, at the end of the hall was a lone streetlamp surrounded by mirrors facing the stripped ceiling. Once they stepped foot into the atrium, they were suddenly in a forest of streetlamps.

To top it off, Morgan brought them to the trapeze tent. They all looked up without a net to obscure their view of the performers, swinging around in regular, dining room chairs, swinging around in large human hamster balls, all culminating with a man spinning like a top and dropping like a rock from atop a tower. Many screamed. Even Arthur, Morgan, and Lance’s hearts stopped seeing him fall. But he stopped midair, near the ground, and top hat still on his head despite being upside-down. He bowed. Everyone lost their heads cheering.

“ _Do you believe in magic?_ ” Morgan sang, throwing her arms around Ely and Wayne’s shoulders.

“Practice.” Wayne scoffed.

“Projections.” Ely added.

“Scrooges.” Morgan ruffled their hair. “At least Percy’s been converted.” She grinned.

“That Cloud Maze.” He said softly, shaking his head. “I couldn’t…”

“Architecture!” Ely insisted. Gwen laughed at her brother.

“Percy hasn’t matured like we have!” Wayne argued, patting his hair back into its rightful place.

Percy glared at Wayne while Morgan cackled. “Like _you’re_ so mature!”

Arthur, who was at the head of their group, walking faster than anyone else, looked over his shoulder. “Prepare to pay Morgan, nonbelievers.” He pulled the thick black fabric of Merlin’s tent. His smile was brighter than the white bonfire. His whole body was eager to take a seat and wait. He was tempted to jump over the railing and run into Merlin’s place backstage. He hadn’t seen Merlin for more than a couple of months now – a cruel injustice by time and space. But he took a seat with his friends, right at the front facing the entrance Merlin never used.

“Wow, a circular stage.” Gwen commented when she sat. “Is he really that good?”

“Imagine the best magician you’ve ever seen in your life.” Arthur started. “And then imagine Dumbledore and Gandalf. Put all of those together. Then square it. No, wait – _cube_ it.”

“Unbelievable!” Gwen laughed. “You’re _exaggerating_!”

“Trust me, I’m not.” Arthur smirked.

Soon, the audience filled the seats. Not as many as Merlin deserved – there were two to three empty chairs. By then, the entrance was sealed. Most of the audience were _rêveurs_ who filled the silence with their eager whispers. Arthur could spot the first-timers easily. They fidgeted. They frowned at almost anything. They peeked at the stage as if to make sure that it was actually a circle.

Then there was a gust of wind and the scones were extinguished, plunging the tent into sudden darkness. There were a few distressed cries but no one dared to move out of the tent. Suddenly, the tent brightened with a flame in the middle of the stage. That wasn’t all; someone was holding the huge flame in his hands – Merlin. He wore an outfit Arthur gave him, a stainless white button up and pants that was missing a blazer, with shiny black and white brogues, and black gloves. He smiled into the fire and threw it in the air. It flickered and it was dark for one second then the tent was bright red with several flames along the ceiling. The man standing in center stage wasn’t Merlin anymore. It was Ely. And he was very much disoriented. Gwen gasped.

“HOLY SHITSTAIN!” Wayne yowled, falling into Arthur. People laughed but that was swallowed up by the applause.

“Language. There are children in the audience.” Arthur said before his eyes met Merlin’s.

Merlin sat where Ely sat, wiggling his fingers at Arthur’s friends. Arthur’s heart was going to puncture itself if it continued slamming into his ribs. When Merlin winked, the flames dissipated. Arthur took a deep breath.

The light came back and Ely was back in his seat, Merlin was nowhere to be seen. When the tent fell into darkness the third time, Arthur felt it, someone sitting on his lap. He chuckled as Merlin slipped a piece of paper into his hand. “Wayne’s a charming fellow.” Merlin whispered then titled Arthur’s chin upward to peck him twice on the lips. “For luck.” He murmured before disappearing. Arthur began to hold in his laughter. Merlin was at the center again, holding another fireball between his hands. Then he shot a long stream of flames from it. It rocketed around the room, lighting the sconces, then it took a turn towards Merlin.

People ducked out of the way as the flames passed over their heads. The fire hit Merlin square in the chest. A few people screamed but the fire died and Merlin was wearing an impeccable white blazer. A tongue of flame stayed on his hand and he flicked it out, turning into a black bowler hat. He did his first bow and was met with applause.

“ _Do you believe in magic?_ ” Arthur sang. Wayne and Ely had their hands up to applaud but they were too stunned to do anything.

“I’ll accept you paying for food, boys.” Morgan cackled. “God, I wish I could take a picture of your faces!”

Arthur had seen many of Merlin’s shows but he was never bored. Merlin always improved upon the last show. His tricks and illusions found new heights every time they were separated. He didn’t think it was possible but he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised with the amount of impossible the circus as a whole seemed to carry.

He couldn’t bear to look away for even a second as Merlin moved around with such grace and power. He held tightly to the note that was left in his hand, scared that he might lose it. After one last breathtaking trick and a thunderous, unanimous standing ovation, Merlin raised his hands over his head and bowed. He flipped into the air and disappeared, leaving only his blazer fluttering in the air. The blazer turned into doves that flew out of the newly opened entrance. People were buzzing with an adrenaline high as they walked out, chattering continuously about the performance they just witnessed, promising each other they were coming back.

Arthur’s friends raving wildly a few steps away as he uncurled his hand to reveal a crumpled piece of paper that had words in that familiar scrawl.

_Stand by the tent. Speak clearly._

He did as he was told. The ink shifted, first fading, then webbing across the paper, and finally forming new words.

_So…How do you want to do this?_

Arthur chuckled to himself, glancing at his friends who were shaking their heads at the unexplainable. “Show up when you’re free.”

The ink changed again. _Fetch me at Bedtime Stories. That’ll give us some privacy for a hot second._

Arthur laughed. “How long do we have until your next show?”

 _Half-past midnight._ Merlin answered. _Then I’ll have a couple more performances after that._

“See you then.” Arthur stroked the paper.

_See you. I love you._

“Love you too.”

Someone snatched the piece of paper out of his fingers. “What are you smiling about there, hmm?” Morgan teased. Arthur knew better than try to take the stolen paper back. It would only make things worse. She repeated the words to the others and everyone started cooing, making every possible baby noise. Thankfully neither of them gave the other a nickname.

Merlin referred to him as “your majesty” from time to time, mostly during foreplay, but everyone called Arthur that.

“Where is he, then?” Wayne raised his eyebrows. “I want to have a word with him.”

“I’m going to fetch him. You lot can stay _here_ and enjoy the courtyard.” Arthur said, purposefully dangling Merlin over them.

“What’s stopping us from following you?” He countered.

“Friendship and respect?” Arthur crossed his arms, daring him to argue.

“Let it go.” Lance stepped in. “He hasn’t seen the guy in two months or something. He’s dying. _I can’t wait to hold you again, Merlin!_ ” He quoted.

“Oh, Arthur!” Ely chimed in dramatically. “I wish I could stop time so I could draw out every moment we have into forever!”

Arthur bristled but breathed it all out. “Alright. Okay. Whatever. I’m going now and don’t follow me. I will not hesitate to disappear into the circus never to be seen again.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Wayne chuckled, punching Arthur on the shoulder.

Honestly? He would _love_ it.

Arthur wandered to the passageway that lacked doors and was endless stripes of black and white. Of course, that wasn’t the case. He found the uneven spot that blemished the seemingly continuous stripes. There it was – the split in the fabric, like a part of the tent that the circus members neglected to lace tight enough. There was a tag as big as a postcard, indicating that this was the right attraction. Unlike all the other tents with the big, showy signs, this was one of the quieter tents.

Arthur ran his fingers across the postcard, over the clouds and the sleeping boy in the checkered quilt under the star-speckled sky, also in black and white. He flipped the card and saw the words he recognized, almost recalling it immediately when he saw the first word. He walked into the room without a second of hesitation.

_Bedtime Stories_

_Evertide Rhapsodies_

_Anthologies of Memory_

_Please enter cautiously_

_and feel free to open what is closed_

Many a rendezvous were done here. Inside was nearly dark with only sparse twinkling lights to show the way. There was some furniture, the most prominent one was the long table that stretched along the length of the tent, covered in bottles and jars of different shapes and sizes and material – some were ceramic and glass and metal while some was made out of what seemed to be clay and wood. The bottles and jars covered the room, on the floor and on the shelves. He knew what was inside those containers. Memories, both good and bad. Over the years, he and Merlin spent a good amount of time in this place, just opening jars and letting the memories attack their senses. And they might’ve shared a jar once or twice.

He walked carefully, hoping not to tip anything over or step on anything. From the table, he picked a tall bottle which was probably used for wine before it arrived to this tent. He pulled the cork and wisps of smoke escaped it. Then he smelled it, clear as day, the saltwater from the beach. He could smell the grill cooking something succulent and that scent mingled with the sea breeze. Arthur’s mouth watered. He could feel the happiness radiating from the bottle, as well as the hunger. He could almost _hear_ the waves crashing into the shore. He put the cork back in and he smiled. It was so nice to be back.

But there was a particular bottle he was looking for. It was a blue, crystal bottle. If put anywhere else, it would take more than fifteen minutes to locate. Arthur knew exactly where they’d left it the last time they were there.

Up on one of the shelves, surrounded by a water bottle, a flask, and a couple of opaque glass jars was where it sat for a few months. Arthur took it and gently plucked the stopper. The smell of Merlin’s sheets came back in full force. It was papery. Arthur felt like he was standing in the university library, only he actually liked the books there. He felt a touch that ran from his cheek to his chest to his waist. Warm tendrils of smoke caressed his face, creating a blanket of it not soon after. Long eyelashes fluttered against his neck. His heart raced faster and faster. He could almost hear their murmurs, their whispered, reverent praises, the contentment.

Then a hand, a more corporeal hand, cupped his, followed by another. Arthur opened his eyes, meeting Merlin’s.

“Hey.” Merlin murmured, becoming lost in the memory as well.

“Hey.” He replied. They both put the stopper back on. Merlin took the bottle out of Arthur’s hands and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Arthur buried his face into Merlin’s neck. There was that feeling again. That feeling where he didn’t ever want to let Merlin go, not even when he left the circus. “I missed you.”

Merlin pulled away, smiling. Arthur held Merlin’s face in both of his hands to kiss him one. Merlin replied with two kisses.

“Can we stay here forever?” Arthur murmured.

“Your friends will turn the place upside down if you don’t bring me to them.” Merlin reminded.

“Damn them.” He sighed.

Merlin laughed lightly, walking out of Arthur’s grasp, taking one of his hands in his own. He put the bottle back on the shelf before they left the tent. “You make them sound like monsters. They can’t be _that_ bad.”

“They _are_ monsters.” Arthur grumbled. “You can do magic; why won’t you believe me?”

“Don’t you worry, love. I can always,” he waved his hand over his face and it faded into the passageway stripes, “disappear.”

Arthur pulled Merlin into another kiss, this time with a few people in the passageway with them. It lingered. Merlin’s knees felt like they were going to give if Arthur continued what he was doing. “For luck.” Arthur explained. Merlin couldn’t say anything at the moment without giggling like a fool.

Arthur’s friends stood around the bonfire, debating ways to find out what was causing it to burn in such an usual color. The two waited for their friends notice them standing a few steps away. It took a fair amount of time. They were adamant that there was a rational explanation for the fire, as if Merlin’s show wasn’t indication enough that some things escaped the word.

“We could ask Merlin.” Gwen suggested. “He would know, surely.”

“Not that Merlin would say.” Lance replied thoughtfully. “A magician never reveals his secrets, after all.”

“Technically, it’s not _his_ secret, but the circus’s.” Wayne argued.

“Well, he’s part of the circus, isn’t he?” Lance shot back.

“You never know. He _is_ a bit of a blabber mouth. Especially to his majesty, King Arthur.” Merlin quipped. Arthur rolled his eyes, steeling himself for the inevitable sharing.

Morgan gasped and turned first. “Oh. My. God.” Everyone had the same expression of wonder. Their minds could not properly make the connection between the illusionist who created the impossible out of thin air and the young man standing beside their friend. Then their shock broke into grins.

“ _Fina-fucking-lly_!” Wayne cheered. “We were beginning to think Arthur was having an elaborate hallucination!”

“We’ve heard so much about you, Merlin!” Gwen walked towards him, her arms wide and inviting. Merlin accepted the embrace. “Arthur talks so much about you.”

“Violated my privacy, you mean.” Arthur jabbed. Everyone laughed, admitting their faults as Merlin hugged them one by one.

“Should we still introduce ourselves?” Percy asked after hugging Merlin.

Merlin waves his hand dismissively. “Arthur’s a two-way street. I heard as much about you. Mostly angry complaints. Some sincere stuff. He’s really sweet on you lot, if you only knew.”

“Is that so?” Wayne smirked, draping his arm over Arthur’s shoulder. “Did he tell you about our secret affair?”

“Eat shit and die.” Arthur said pleasantly.

Merlin laughed. “Well, that’s something to discuss another time. Right now, how about we grab some food and snag a place near the courtyard stage. Rachel’s performance is about to start soon.”

“Rachel?” Ely asked as they moved from the bonfire.

“She’s our resident singer. Her voice is a gift from the universe! She doles out such a charismatic performance that you lose yourself so far in it that it felt like you blink and the whole thing is finished!” Merlin gushed while he linked his arm with Arthur’s.

“I haven’t seen her yet.” Lance said. “Apart from the fortune teller – and you, I guess – no one’s ever opened their mouth here.”

“She’s relatively new.” Merlin explained. “It wouldn’t hurt to have music around and Rachel’s the kind of singer that the circus needs. For the lack of a better word, she’s magical.” Their friends laughed.

“I’m still reeling from what you did to me in your tent.” Ely shook his head. “ _How_ did you do that?”

“Like you guys said,” Merlin smirked, “a magician never reveals his secrets.”

Morgan sidled herself beside Arthur, linking her arm around his as well. She went on her toes to whisper, “I _adore_ him.”

“Me too.” Arthur chuckled.

Arthur worried about a lot of things leading up to this moment. He worried his friends would embarrass him to the point of no return. He worried they wouldn’t like each other. He worried Merlin would be overwhelmed. He worried that the tent would fold into itself if Merlin spoke to more people than he was allowed to. He worried they would fight about something stupid. He worried he’d be too possessive of Merlin to let him have fun with his friends.

None of these happened.

They were together again and it felt like no time had passed at all. Merlin joked around with them. His friends, though they didn’t hesitate to provide a documentary of Arthur’s faults, didn’t harm the night with their shenanigans. Merlin took it all to stride so Arthur had to follow his lead.

He didn’t know what he was worried about. He scolded himself for even doubting his friends and his boyfriend, all of whom were riding the carousel just for kicks. All the kids pointed and laughed. They pointed right back. Other adults followed their example.

Merlin brought them to all the tents Arthur hadn’t brought them to yet – the fire performer tent where the flames were the real performers and the people were just their stages, Rachel’s ballroom tent with her magical voice singing acapella and the ghostly projections of visitors’ past dancing with them, the Labyrinth where Percy, Gwen, Ely, and Wayne lost their minds and got lost, and more. Merlin treated them to a private show in his tent before his actual performance. It was an overwhelming night. Arthur felt vindicated by the nonbelievers’ torture, wishing he could frame the faces they pulled.

They stood outside, already yawning, waiting for Merlin to say goodbye for that night.

“I need to lie down. I think I’m seeing things.” Ely leaned against Gwen, who smiled fondly.

“Sounds like a successful night to me.” Arthur chuckled as he sipped his tea.

“Your boyfriend’s _wicked_ , Arthur!” Wayne said, though with much less energy than he meant to – a sure sign that he had a grand time.

“Thank you.” Arthur said at the same time Merlin did.

“Jesus Christ!” Percy jumped away, revealing Merlin, grinning madly.

“Wrong name, but I _can_ turn water to wine. I’m fun at parties.” He chuckled. “Will I see you in the coming days?” He asked as he hugged them goodbye.

“I think they need to sleep this whole night off for a couple of days or something.” Lance chuckled as they hugged. “You went overboard touring us around the circus.”

“You’re all just weak!” Arthur declared. Everyone was too tired to reply with anything more than their middle fingers. Merlin laughed as he took his place beside Arthur.

“I guess you’ll be staying?” Morgan smirked.

Arthur pressed a kiss on Merlin’s cheek. “You’re damn right.”

“Don’t get each other pregnant then!” She laughed.

This continued like all the other nights before.

Whenever none of his friends were joining him, which wasn’t often, Arthur would arrive, flashing his unlimited-access ticket, grabbing a couple of cinnamon twists he insisted on buying though the person in the stall would try to convince him it was on the house. Arthur would proceed to slap the money down and walk away as fast as he could to Bedtime Stories. Merlin would either be there or he’d have to wait a couple of minutes. Once Merlin collected him, they would go to Merlin’s room on the train.

What they did in that room depended on the mood. In earlier years, one of them would start tearing the other’s clothes off like the clothes were just about to kill the other. Nowadays, they would share a coffee, Merlin would maybe practice a new trick for the night, and Arthur would offer some feedback, though most of the time he had nothing to say but praise.

Sometimes, Arthur brought his university work with him.

“You don’t have to come to me, Arthur.” Merlin said when he came back to the train from another successful performance to see his bedroom turned into a study. “You’ve been doing that for years. I can come to you.”

“I have class and you need your sleep.” Arthur replied from Merlin’s bed, looking up from his book. “We wouldn’t be spending that much time together if it were the other way around.”

Merlin sighed. Arthur was right. _This_ was as close as they got to spending whole days together. He wondered if that were still the case in the coming years. Arthur’s father, Gunther, was grooming him to take over their production empire, and he was going to do his master’s soon. Would there still be time to run away then? And after that, when Arthur was working, would there be? He hated how fleeting all of this suddenly seemed. He hated that he couldn’t whisk Arthur away as Arthur was as serious about taking over as his father.

Merlin didn’t consider himself a selfish person but, as he fell deeper in love, he knew that he wanted Arthur all to himself.

Magic could do much but not enough, it seemed.

Arthur was out of the bed, textbook faced down, smile on his lips, and pulled Merlin towards him. “Don’t pout. I assure you it’ll be boring and I don’t want you to find out that I’m actually the blandest person you could’ve fallen in love with.” Merlin cracked a smile. Then he chuckled. Arthur’s smile widened. “There it is.” He murmured and kissed Merlin.

Arthur didn’t mind the late nights, university already asked that of him. Being in the circus made it all the more bearable. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

Their kiss deepened. Merlin wrapped his arms tightly around Arthur’s neck as Arthur chuckled as Merlin parted his mouth. Arthur helped Merlin up his desk, pushing the blazer off his shoulders. His knees buckled when Merlin pressed his thighs against his waist. Before they could go any further, Arthur need to be sure. “Do you have time?” He mumbled. His belt had already come undone and Merlin’s trousers were sliding off his legs, all with his arms clasped tightly around Arthur’s neck.

Merlin said nothing. Instead, he peppered kisses along Arthur’s neck as the buttons unbuttoned themselves. Then, his sex drawer slid open. Arthur hummed with pleasure. He reached for the lube and condom packets just in time for the door to open.

“Merlin, there’s some trouble with our fire routine and I can’t quite – well, _hello_ there.” Arthur tensed as his whole body turned bright pink. Merlin raised his hands to the door, which slammed shut. “If you wanted an audience, just leave the door open next time!”

“What do you want, Apollo?!” Merlin yelled.

“I have a question!” He said behind the door. “Do you always get horny after a show? If so, do you masturbate whenever Arthur isn’t around?” Arthur wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or if he wanted to curl underneath one of Merlin’s blankets until everyone in the circus was asleep.

“Go away, please!” Both of them sighed as Apollo walked away, laughing. “Bloody American.” Merlin muttered.

“ _Do_ you get horny after each show?” Arthur asked after a pause.

Merlin buried his face into Arthur’s semi-exposed chest. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.” Arthur began to laugh but silenced it when Merlin punched his arm. “Do _not_.”

“Sorry.” Arthur cleared his throat. “So… Are we…?” He squeezed Merlin’s waist and bumped their noses together.

“I feel like Apollo’s watching now.” Merlin grumbled.

“I mean, he’s not a bad looking bloke even if he’s a tad older. We –” The lights flickered around them as the temperature took a significant drop.

“I swear to god.” Merlin rolled his eyes.

Arthur laughed. “Don’t tell me you don’t think Widget and Apollo won’t be fun additions.”

“Shouldn’t you be studying?” Merlin jabbed his finger on Arthur’s forehead.

“Til your next performance then, love.” Arthur pecked Merlin’s cheek and returned to Merlin’s bed a step away.

“I’ll find out what Apollo needed help with. And then _murder_ him.”

“Stop turning me on, babe.”

Merlin slammed the door behind him. Arthur laughed again as he returned to his books. He figured he should be more upset at Apollo since this could be the last night the circus would be in town but he didn’t. They wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much anyway. The circus was at full swing at this time. Performers and staff members alike would be passing by Merlin’s room all the time and while Merlin could keep the noises they made from leave his four walls, he tended to lose focus during the most pleasurable part of sex. It was just as uncomfortable for Arthur as it was for the members of the circus. Trying to stay quiet was the one impossible feat Merlin could not do. Not that Arthur complained. He liked hearing him come undone.

Besides, Arthur was going to change all this. At least, he hoped.

Later, when the sun was rising and the last of the patrons had left the circus, Merlin and Arthur took a short walk around, passing by Bedtime Stories, getting one last cinnamon twist, entering the courtyard to have one last look at the white bonfire, and exiting through the official exit. The night’s ticket girl, Celia Clarke, youngest of Bailey and Poppet’s four, waved at them as she closed up.

“I’m still so sorry about Apollo.” Merlin said as they reached the gates.

“It’s alright, Merlin.” Arthur cupped Merlin’s cheek and Merlin leaned into the touch. “There’ll be more opportunities.”

“Yeah. I know…I know…” Merlin nodded. “I hope you can come up to Scotland – after that quiz next week, I mean.”

“I’ll try.” Arthur promised.

The first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon. Lavender and red pushed the darkness back and the monochrome of the circus disappeared with the light. The clock chimed. The smaller juggler was balancing five silver balls now while the clock face mirrored the scenery. Arthur and Merlin smiled at it.

“This should be easier by now, shouldn’t it?” Merlin laughed at how ridiculous he must’ve looked with tears in his eyes after so many “see you soon’s” and “I’ll miss you’s”.

Arthur wiped the tears before they could fall. He kissed Merlin, one hand on his cheek and the other rummaging for something in his bag. When the kiss subsided, Arthur said, “Maybe I can help you with that.” Then he knelt. New tears filled then fell. Merlin was as still as the statues in the circus courtyard. He felt as faint as the first time one of the trapeze performers brought him up to the platforms. The ring was subtly beautiful, a rose-cut onyx embedded in a thick band of white gold. Like the circus, it took on the colors of the sun and sky. The gem glimmered, waiting for a response. All Merlin’s thoughts consisted of a one-note scream. He knew if he opened his mouth now, he would scream too. He didn’t think Arthur would enjoy it as much in this context.

“Merlin,” Arthur stammered, “I want to marry you. We don’t have to do it tomorrow, or next week, or next year, but I want you to know that I have every intention of spending my life with you and, by extension, the circus. I’ll be a bloody stage-husband for all I care.” He chuckled as he wiped his eye with the pad of his thumb. “I’ll do anything as long as I’m with you.”

“But Arthur…” Merlin waved his hand, gesturing to everything that would be an impediment. What about your father? What about your company? What about your education? What about the circus? All the things that could go wrong ruined the happy picture Merlin wanted to paint.

“No, none of that now.” Arthur took Merlin’s hand in his. He knew what Merlin was thinking about since he thought about them too. As far as risks went, this wasn’t much of a leap. “We’ll cross those bridges when we get to them. Like I said, there’s no rush. None at all. We’re going to do this at our own time on our own pace, with the circus and my father hovering in the background. I just want to be with you for as long as we both live.”

Arthur always knew what to say.

The sun was rising fast. Merlin still had to help everyone pack up and leave before anyone nearby noticed. Arthur knew he was putting Merlin on the spot but he’d been building up the nerve to ask him ever since Merlin met his friends.

“God, you look so beautiful.” Merlin breathed. Arthur was glowing in the golden morning light. His blue eyes glistening with tears, his hair turning into a bright halo.

“What do you say, Merlin?” Arthur asked one last time.

“Do you even really need to ask?” Merlin squeaked as he closed the box’s lid, showing Arthur the ring that was materializing around his finger. Arthur jumped upright, pulling Merlin into the happiest kiss they’d ever shared in four years of happy kisses. Their tears mingled, so did their laughter in between elated kissing.

Celia shrieked from behind the ticket booth, causing them to separate. “I can’t believe I watched the whole thing! I can’t wait to tell Mum, Dad, and Uncle Widget!” With that, she ran into the circus.

The two laughed. “My turn.” Merlin smirked as he lifted Arthur’s hand to his lips, their eyes never leaving the other’s for even a moment. When Merlin pulled away, a band curled itself around Arthur’s finger.

“No fair. You can do magic.” Arthur commented when he was faced with a trillion-cut ruby braided into a silver band that resembled the curly architecture of the white bonfire’s cauldron.

Merlin shook his head and yanked Arthur back into a kiss by the hand. “Shut up.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time...

_Milan, July 2010_

The circus came out of nowhere. No announcements. No advertisements. No preamble whatsoever. Everyone waited near the gates as the sun began to set, anticipation buzzing in the air. There were _rêveurs_ talking excitedly with each other and newcomers to the circus. There were children waiting on their parents’ shoulders or in their arms with an enchanted look in their eyes. The black and white tents were the biggest they had ever seen. The excitement was almost solid and warm to the touch.

“Did you hear? The illusionist is back!” One said to their friend.

“Wait? Merlin? The one who got married two years ago? He’s back?!” With every question, their voice rose an octave.

“Sure is!”

“How’s he different from the one they’re travelling with now?” A neophyte _rêveur_ asked.

“I’m not sure about the details but the one they’re travelling with is one of the proprietor’s kids. Apparently, they’d been training with Merlin since the circus came back at full-force in the beginning of the century! Merlin’s a natural at it. His sets are always a treat! Not to say the Clarke kid isn’t good but her performances aren’t as playful as Merlin’s.”

“You can’t blame her! Maybe she’s just trying to be more professional with it. She’s the proprietor’s daughter after all! I can’t imagine the pressure!”

As this news spread across the crowd, sparking more intrigue and glee, Merlin prepared for the first performance after the first two years of marriage. His fingers were shaking so much he had to use magic to put his tie into the perfect knot. It was that first day all over again. Only this time, people expected something _more_. He wasn’t a mere beginner, he was a seasoned illusionist! His first show in forever needed to _astound_ not _meet expectations_. That’d be disappointing. And the last thing Merlin ever wanted to be was _disappointing_.

“You only do that when you’re nervous.” Arthur murmured. Merlin jumped backward into his chest, not noticing when he walked into the room. Arthur kissed his nape as he adjusted the tie. Two bands of rings were snuggled around Arthur’s finger. Like Merlin’s, the engagement and wedding rings had laced into one another, serving as both a metaphor for their unity and for convenience. Though mostly convenience.

“There’s no reason to be, Merlin.” Arthur said once Merlin’s costume was now completely immaculate.

“I’m out of practice.” Merlin admitted. “Erin can –”

“No.” Arthur said firmly, turning Merlin by the shoulders so he could give him a stern look. “I promised you that I will not take you away from this circus.”

“But I agreed to go on hiatus after the wedding. I wanted it. It was _my_ choice.” Merlin dropped his head on Arthur’s chest. “My fault. I did this to myself. Not that I regret it or anything, but…” He sighed deeply, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s waist.

“Self-pity is not a good look on anyone, my dear.” Arthur tilted Merlin’s face up. “Don’t be an idiot. You’ll do great.” His expression softened as he leaned down to kiss Merlin softly. “You helped teach Erin everything she knew. And even though having you all to myself for two whole years was all I could ever ask for, I can’t think of anything more awful than you not doing what you love most at _Le Cirque des Rêves_.”

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled, kissing Arthur twice.

“I’ll help you set up your props.” Arthur said. “You can practice.”

“Alright.” Merlin took a deep breath even though his first performance wouldn’t be for another three hours. If nothing else, it gave him more time to fret and second guess. But as he held Arthur’s hand and they walked out his room, he reminded himself that he shouldn’t.

“Will you be in the audience tonight?” Merlin asked, hopeful that he would be there as a comforting face in a sea of expectant strangers.

“No.” Arthur answered. Merlin was about to demand an explanation but Arthur leaned in and whispered, “I’ll be waiting in your room, half-naked with that extra silencing spell you have left over from our Christmas party.” Then Arthur pressed his lips on Merlin’s neck when he knew no one was going to see. “I may or may not start without you so don’t dawdle.”

Merlin’s throat dried up. He spent so much time thinking about how it could all go wrong that he didn’t once think about all those after-show encounters. It was difficult to keep himself from dragging Arthur back into the room. The image Arthur had conjured was a compelling one.

“You expect me to do a proper show with that in mind?” Merlin choked. Arthur smirked wordlessly. “Bloody bastard.”

“Don’t be pessimistic, husband.” Arthur chuckled, tossing his arm around Merlin. “Think of it as motivation not as a distraction.”

“Til death do us part, was it?” Merlin retorted as Arthur began rising off the floor and the lights of the train flickered.

Arthur just rolled his eyes. After many a fight, he learned never to be afraid of Merlin. “Stop being so dramatic. I can’t help it if I’m perpetually irresistible.” Merlin let go of Arthur’s hand and continued to walk away. “Merlin? Sweetheart? Come back here right now! Or else!”

“Or else what, your majesty?” Merlin spun around, bowing. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere in that state.”

“Ha-ha. You’ve had your fun! Stop being an idiot!” Arthur knew better than to thrash in the air.

“I dunno. I think I’m still having fun.” Merlin called before climbing off the train.

“MERLIN PENDRAGON, I SWEAR ON YOUR SCARF COLLECTION –!” Arthur tumbled to his knees and heard cackling a few feet outside the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you for getting this far! I hope you liked it! I like it. Anyway, I wanted to take this time to tell you that there are crumbs of all three stories (even the unfinished, barely started Solangelo one) all over each other so bear with me. Also, if you're part of the Glee, Merlin, Percy Jackson, AND, of course, the Night Circus, I hope I did this well. And I hope you lose your mind because if I didn't write this and I saw this crossover I'll be like HOLY SHIT I WILL READ THIS ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT OH FUCKING YES.


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